As (the groom's) best man , please join me in a toast to the newlyweds. Actually , I have no idea why I'm called the "best man" because , as far as I know , no one pays the least bit of attention to a man in my position. You hear comments like , "Isn't the bride absolutely radiant?" or "Isn't the groom handsome?" But do you ever hear anyone say , "Wow , have you noticed the best man? Isn't he a great looking guy?" Nooooo. In fact , one of the guests thought I was with the catering service. Actually , I want you all to know that I've been an outstanding best man . Who else could have calmed (the groom's) nerves the way I did? Who else could have been such a wise counselor? Who else could have been such a reassuring voice in his ear as I stood beside him during the ceremony? And who else could have done such an awesome job of arranging the honeymoon, and keeping their honeymoon destination such a fine secret , I might add? Actually , now that I think about it , with such outstanding qualities as these , I can't help but wonder why I'm still single. But seriously , it has been an honour to serve as (the groom's) best man , and it is a special privilege to offer the first toast to the bride and groom. Here's to (bride) and (groom).

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